I’ve never written a blog post before. I write all the time, but there’s something way scary about putting it online for everyone to see. I’ve seen the way females get ripped apart on the internet. Putting my writing out there seems like suicide. Who would ever want to be a writer for a living? Oh, wait, I do. So, I could wait until the world changes into the nice, fluffy world I dream about, or I could plunge in, and change the world. I love writing, and always have. Since grade school I’ve been filling black and white composition books, fuzzy pink diaries with locks, small ringed journals with angsty quotes on the cover. The crushes and their subsequent heartbreaks, the friends that appeared in all the sequels, battles with depression, self-harm, and hospitals with loud patients and sunny duck ponds. My journals have recorded the best and the worst parts. My journals are my love letters to life.
As I got older they began to include short stories, poetry, snippets of character profiles, crudely drawn comics. And then movie and book reviews, restaurant reviews and recipes. I began fostering dreams of novels with my name on the cover. In high school I published a healthy handful of poems and short stories. I can hardly read these now, I cringe so hard. After graduation, though, I had this period of wild growth. I didn’t write often, mainly because I was too fucked up to pick up a pen. When I did though, it was golden. The last six years have been a magic school bus ride, right into adulthood. It is terrifying and maddening, but somehow it has fueled my creative writing splendidly. Coupled with the discovery of Women’s and Gender studies (and feminism!) I finally see a place for me in the writing world. I see the plot where I could carve out a home for myself, the nervous, directionless hippie, and perhaps find more positive adjectives and nouns.
So why am I writing a blog? To find courage, the courage to share the things that matter, the scary stuff that I want to keep tucked close to my chest. To find a reader base, and get feedback from them and fellow writers. To develop my voice as writer. To become a part of a network of bloggers, and writers in general, who can help me on my journey. I want to be able to use my voice as a writer to keep a congruous thread throughout all of my writing. Because I love writing about everything. I want to include in my blog:
- My personal thoughts in a day
- Movie, book, or music reviews
- Short stories, poetry, or whatever else strange creative writing comes to mind
- D.I.Y. tutorials
- Whatever else I want ^.^
I am excited to take this journey that I hope will result in personal growth, public recognition, fame, and fortune (eventually). A year from now I would love to say that on this day, with this first courageous blog post, I started the journey that would lead to my first publication deal, and an invitation to be a keynote speaker at a major Women’s conference. And also that it lead me to meet Margaret Atwood.